


Hopeless

by blackrose343



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Angst, Attempted Murder, Implied/Referenced Torture, Language, Memory Loss, Mild Gore, Minor Violence, Non-Graphic Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:15:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27461815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrose343/pseuds/blackrose343
Summary: You have been kidnapped by a Soul Snatcher clan that used to reside within Red Grave. They’re torturing you for more information about the one who helped you kill their leader. While being held captive you begin to think about how to escape, how this all started, and if someone will find you. Then again, what would happen if you escape?
Relationships: V (Devil May Cry)/Reader
Kudos: 10





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> V x Gender Neutral Reader
> 
> Do not repost!

**Present Day**

You were rudely awoken by cold water being shot at you. Your body shivered as a muffled “fuck” escaped from you. Your instinct to kick the perpetrator took over but they prevented you from doing so. You tried to punch them but realized your hands were chained above your head. You faced downward trying to control your breathing. You needed to compose yourself. No way were you going to give them any satisfaction of seeing you panic. A hand forced you to face them. You wanted to barf. The guy smelled god awful so you assumed his breath would be the same mixed with alcohol. “Tell us who helped you kill Carmilla.”

As soon as he took the gag off you opened your mouth as if you were going to tell them. Instead of spitting at them you just stated they will never find the person they were looking for. You received a punch in the stomach for your noncooperation. You coughed up a bit of blood but smiled. From what V told you, you knew he wouldn’t be around by now. They will never know who helped you. “You really are wasting your time. You’ll never find them.”

“They can hide all they want. We’ll find ‘em.” 

“What makes you think you’ll find them?” They were tired of you resisting to tell them anything about V. They left after beating you leaving you to your thoughts. The main thought you had was to figure out how to escape. The next thought was where to run to. You would think about who to go for help but you had no one. Everyone you know at this point couldn’t help you. You would be putting them in danger. You considered finding Vergil but you had no idea where he was. You weren’t sure about finding Vergil if you could. From what V told you he may not be too keen on helping you. 

You weren’t sure how long they would keep you. A week? More? Less? You pushed that to the back of your mind. You started to think about how to escape but you kept getting distracted. All you could think about was how this whole situation started. 

**One Year Ago**

You arrived at a bar not too far from Red Grave when you heard the news. A demonic tree sprouting out of the ground, along with other types of creatures. The news was trying to get shots of the tree from a safe distance. Too bad one of the roots shot through the front of the helicopter and took the pilot. You were able to catch a few seconds of the helicopter falling from the camera man’s point of view before the news switched to what was going on within Red Grave. Those same roots were striking every person they could get. You watched the people they caught get flung around.

Everyone around you was disgusted and terrified. A couple people ran to the bathroom to barf but that could be from disgust or alcohol. Some people left the bar fearing death was near. You weren’t disturbed by the violence and gore but by the fact that something might kill your target before you get to Red Grave. If that happened, that’s a payday stolen from you. You knew you would have to get to Red Grave soon but couldn’t help but think of other ways to make money during this. The thought of just killing the damn things came to mind but come on, you knew better. Killing those things would just be repaid with 15 minutes of fame. No financial reward. Time would be wasted. You considered looting the corpses but it could be a riskier than you think.

You were deep in thought when the bartender asked why you were still in the bar. You looked at him confused while holding up your drink. He just pointed at the TV. The news was still showing people getting killed. You also read the names of the areas that must evacuate. The evacuation order was immediate. Everyone had to leave with what’s on their backs. Not wanting to keep the poor bartender open to death you chugged your drink, then left.

The world was in chaos. Everything and everyone was in full on panic mode. Cars were trying to force a path to leave. Some already crashed into buildings or power poles. People were hectically running away. Some tried to coerce drivers out of their cars so they could steal it. Some begged drivers to give them a ride. Few took the opportunity to rob stores. A couple fights started but you had better things to do than watch.

You started to head in the direction of Red Grave while dodging everyone trying to evacuate. It gave you some time to think about what you wanted to do. Was going after the target worth it at this point? You knew there was a chance they were dead by now. If they weren’t killed by the roots, then it would be by one of the demons. Still, the thought of them somehow surviving crossed your mind. You just weren’t sure so planning it by ear was what you decided on.

Red Grave was in ruins even though this all started not too long ago. There were few people still trying to get away from the demonic chaos. A couple people were trying to retrieve their dead relatives’ corpses. Only to get caught in the process. From what you saw it looked like the corpses crumble when they’re touched. Curiosity took over so you walked up to one. You were disappointed to see the corpse was sucked dry. Getting sucked dry wasn’t an exciting way to die.

You jumped away from the corpse as a root struck the building in front of you. Quickly you turned around to see if anymore would be after you. You jumped up as another root tried to get you. You shot at the root but nothing happened. You dodged the roots as you shot at it from different angles. As you were trying to figure out where its weak point was you noticed someone watching you. It was hard to tell who was watching. All you got was a glimpse of dark hair and tattoos. You didn’t bother to think about it. You needed to get rid of those damn roots. It didn’t take long for you to figure out shooting at the base of the root works. You shot at the roots’ bases as you got closer. Once you were close enough you gave them a clean cut with your katanas. As the roots dissipated you noticed the person watching you left. You didn't think it was your target but could it have been someone associated with them? Only one way to find out. Your next task was to find the person who was watching you.

Days passed since your search for the target started. You searched some of the locations you were able to find out about before coming to Red Grave. Each possible place you’ve been to was a bust. All of them were abandoned. You thoroughly searched each place for any clues about the target's whereabouts but found very little information. There also wasn’t any clue about if a person was assigned to watch you. Part of you was starting to believe your target left the city. You had to think about your next move: Keep searching Red Grave or leave.

You sat down in the dusty chair and started to think. You didn’t know much about your target. All your client told you was that it was a Soul Snatcher called Carmilla. You tried to get your client to tell you what form it primarily uses but you knew it changed depending on its prey. It’ll take whatever form or appearance necessary to get its next meal. There were so many rumors about its whereabouts that it was ridiculous. You started to believe finding the target wasn’t worth it at this point. 

Your stomach growled as you were getting ready to leave. You’ve been so focused on finding your target you haven't had the chance to eat. You checked almost every building you passed by. Nothing or scraps. There were a couple things but they were not what you preferred. Of course the assholes that fled the city took all the good stuff. You took what you found in case you couldn’t find anything else. You silently wished you would find something better to eat.

You heard an unnatural shriek not too far from you. You started going into the opposite direction the shriek came from. Who knows how many demons that would attract. You weren’t sure if you had enough energy to deal with a herd of demons so you decided to leave it be. You changed your mind when you remembered there was a grocery store in that direction. You sighed to yourself as you headed in the shriek’s direction. If you don’t find food at least you’ll let your frustration out.

As you approached the store you saw a kid running out of it. Nothing was chasing the kid and you knew there was no way he could defeat any demon. So who helped him? You stopped the kid then asked him what happened. He quickly explained that he and his mom were looking for food when demons attacked them. His mom got knocked out when a demon knocked a shelf on her. He tried to pull her out but he’s too weak. A dark haired man covered in tattoos found him when a demon was about to attack him. Your eyes widened. Was it possible the man in the store is the one from the other night? Is it possible the man is your target? 

You assumed the rest of the story. You told the kid to stay put, then went into the store. Surprisingly the automatic door still worked but the store looked like it was bombed. Food and drinks were splattered everywhere. You ducked to avoid the shelf flying at you, then looked at the broken shelf. Nothing that you would want to eat. You turned your attention to the shrieks. You saw two Riot demons and the man the kid mentioned. Automatically you knew he was the one from the other night. You never saw tattoos like his on anyone else. You noticed he was a bit sluggish. You more than likely knew it was because he needs food just like you. Too bad he got involved with that bullshit.

You were about to attack but stopped. Something caught your eye. You moved a couple things away, then reached for it. A huge smile crossed your face. You couldn’t believe it. You found a bag of your favorite snack! You snatched it then plopped down on a counter. You watched the man command his familiars effortlessly. Figuring out whatever you could about him was your utmost priority. You had no idea if he was your target, working with your target, or not involved at all. If he has anything to do with the target, you need a strategy to eliminate him.

As you watched them you noticed some of the man’s tattoos were faded. You had a feeling it may have something to do with his familiars. You kept a mental note the bird shoots lighting of different sizes and strengths. The panther morphs into a wheel of blades, spears from the ground, along with possible other variations. It seems to also help the man dodge if the bird can’t. Nothing too complicated to understand. You just need to focus on when certain commands come into play. Once you understand when he gives certain commands you can start figuring out how to fight them.

Part of you was amazed by how graceful he could be while fighting demons. It was as if he was dancing with them. The more you watched the more you saw. You first noticed his slender figure but knew he wasn’t weak. He would have lost to the Riots by now if he was. You first thought his tattoo was only on one arm but it reaches across his chest to his other arm and up his neck. You wondered if it was a full body piece. His deep emerald eyes were fierce; completely focused on his enemy. Not even once have they acknowledged you. You couldn’t hear what he was saying to his familiar so you tried to read his lips. Even those were worth looking at. Honestly, if this was your target you could see why it could easily get a meal.

You heard someone screaming within the store. No one you could see was screaming so it had to be the boy’s mother. The man’s attention never left the Riots. You saw a sigh escape from him. You felt kind of bad for him but you were hoping more food would present itself. You continued eating your snack not wanting to get involved when you saw a bag of chips. You reached out to your right to grab them.

“Stop stealing our food!!” In the nick of time you leaned back onto the counter. If you waited any longer you would have been struck by the bird’s lightning. You blinked with confusion. Did the bird just talk? You almost thought you were hallucinating from hunger but no you could still hear him. It sounded like he was trying to tell the man to hurry up. You decided to continue searching the store for more food. You probably should have left but mind as well search the whole place before it falls apart. Not your problem if they couldn’t get anything. You did your best to dodge all the debris but you had to slice some things in half. Luckily, you didn’t slice anything that was too rotten or worse. To add to the luck, you found a few salvageable snacks for later.

A few weaker demons made their way into the store. They were nothing compared to the Riots. One shot or a slice to the head finished them off. You noticed the man was more sluggish than before. You weren’t sure if he would last much longer but whatever. As long as you weren’t involved, it’s not of your concern. As you continued to search you made your way over to the boy's mother. You were going to leave her but she was screaming non-stop. You placed your hand over her mouth when you approached her. Before you lifted your hand from her you indicated she had to shut the fuck up. The more noise she made the higher the possibility of something finding her and you. You made sure the area around you was clear then started to clear the fallen shelves. Once the shelves were cleared you pushed one of the shelves off. The mother was able to wiggle out but not completely. You sighed as you lifted the shelf on top of her mentally screaming for her to hurry up.

As you were helping the mother find her son you sensed something was off. You looked out the window trying to find the boy. He was standing out in the open talking to someone who looked exactly like the mother. The woman looked at you with such hunger that you automatically knew the boy was talking to your target. You were afraid it would snatch the boy before you could get to him. So you did the first thing you thought of: shoot the target. You hit its shoulder but it didn’t look like it was affected at all. It looked at you with so much maliciousness you thought it was going to kill the boy out of spite. Instead it ditched the boy as you ran towards them.

You shot at the Soul Snatcher as it ran, but you didn’t get a fatal shot. You were pissed. Aren’t good deeds supposed to be paid with good karma? The Soul Snatcher was too fast for you to go after. Your next bet is to go after the man in the store. You ran back into the store while shooting at the remaining Riot. It seemed that none of your shots were going to work for you. Fan-fucking-tasic. Just as the Riot was going to kill the man, you sliced the back of its throat with your katana. “Fucking hell. Just die already. I have things to do.”

You remained on the Riot’s back as its body slumped onto the man below you. No way were you letting him get away. You pointed your katana at him while you placed your finger above your gun’s trigger. You were well aware his familiars were behind you but you were betting they wouldn’t do anything until commanded to do so. You were desperate for answers so you were willing to try anything. “I’ll let you go once I get my answers. What do you know about the Soul Snatcher around here?”

“I believe the polite thing to do is introduce yourself first.” 

“If you want to know the name of the person who’s going to kill you, fine. I’m (Y/N).” You were impressed. Every person you ever threatened would crack before trying to hide what they knew. He wasn’t even flinching. Is he not afraid of death? Does he not know anything about the Soul Snatcher? You pierced your katana into the wall next to the man’s head hoping for some reaction. “Now tell me what you know about the Soul Snatcher.”

“Come on, V. Let’s not waste our time with 'em. We could just kill 'em and take what food they have.” You and the man were staring at each other searching for answers. Your eyes didn’t leave his as you pierced your katana next to his hand reaching for a book. You sat on the Riots back waiting for an answer.

“As Griffon said, I am called V. I do not know of a Soul Snatcher nor do I care about it.” You sighed disappointed you have no lead besides actually seeing the damn thing. You knew he wasn’t going to say more so it wasn’t worth pressing into further. Never have you ever seen someone so calm. His body language was telling you he didn’t have the time to deal with you. You presumed he needed some source of energy since he seemed to have spent quite a bit of it during the fight. 

You jumped off the Riot then continued to search for food. You grabbed a couple things, along with a tiny bottle of your favorite liquor. After the bullshit today you deserved a drink. As you searched the rest of the store, you noticed he was following you. You presumed he would at least search somewhere else within the store. Nope, he tried to not appear to follow you. He wasn’t preparing for an attack so you tried to ignore him. The bird was jeering that he may have to eat the Riots. The thought almost made you gag and feel pity for him. How long has it been since he ate? Couldn’t have been too long ago, right? You were going to grab a bottle of water but a silver cane pushed it behind you. You sighed as you turned around to face V. “Haven’t you ever heard of ‘finders, keepers’?”

“Isn’t the rest of the saying ‘losers, weepers’?” V was looking at you with a cocky smirk. Griffon burst out laughing. The panther continued to search for food. You honestly wished you had a smartass comeback but nothing. You were stunned he just called you a ‘loser’. “To be fair, I found it at the same time as you.”

“Why are you following me? You have this whole shithole to search for food.”

“I was thinking we could help each other. A powerful demon has been resurrected. I intend to defeat him but cannot do so by myself. I would like you to hire you to assist me in defeating him. In exchange, I will help you find the Soul Snatcher.” You weren't sure what to think. You just met V yet he's already trying to make a deal with you. You egged him for more information. V told you the recent events you watched the other day from his point of view. A demon king named Urizen has been resurrected and intends to possess all power. You gave V a bewildered expression. He was joking, right? It sounded like something out of a cartoon minus "world domination". V also admitted he watched you the other night and has been considering recruiting you since. 

You were concerned about V calling Urizen a "demon king". It meant the fucker is not going to go down easily. V also told you he hired Devil May Cry but things didn't go well. Nero is in Fortuna getting stronger while V gathers information. You admit you're a pretty decent demon hunter but you didn't believe you could take down something so powerful without dying, especially with only the two or three of you. You looked at V wondering when he was going to say "just kidding" but he was dead serious. 

You pondered on the idea of him helping you. You were concerned about him getting in the way but he could be useful at gathering information. What if he decides to go after the target? Although, a partnership could be beneficial. Two heads are better than one, right? "As much as I would like to, I can't. From what you told me this Urizen is beyond my capabilities. If you want, I can help you gather information in exchange for you assisting me in finding my target."

You extended your hand waiting to see if V would accept your proposal. Now it was his turn to think. You had a feeling it wouldn't be hard for V to find the information he needs. You only offered because you're not quite sure if he would last until he met up with Nero. V had less than a month until they meet again and he doesn't seem to have much food. V gently grabbed your hand while you put more than needed effort into your grip. V tried to hide his discomfort but you caught it. You smiled at him, happy he accepted your counter offer. As sweetly as you could you told V, “I’ll kill you before you can double cross me.”


	2. The Truth

**Present Day**

V returned from a mission as everyone sat down for dinner. He mindlessly listened to everyone’s conversations while he ate. He was trying to think of where else to look for you. He’s been trying to find you ever since he recovered from merging with Urizen. He knows finding you sometimes became a second priority but he had his reasons. The world runs on money and he needed money to travel to wherever you may be. In order to get money he’s been working with Devil May Cry. Every mission he went on he would ask people about you. He would have called but what was the point of getting your number if he wasn’t going to exist soon after he met you. He was starting to feel defeated. As if something or someone heard him silently ask for a clue for your whereabouts, Kyrie got a notification on her phone.

“Don’t you ever get tired of getting Amber Alerts? The notification’s sound is obnoxious.” Kyrie gave Nero a slightly annoyed look while grabbing her phone.

“If a kid is missing and they come to Fortuna, I want to help get them home….Hold on, this isn’t an Amber Alert. This is for a missing woman around our age.” Everyone gave Kyrie a confused look. From what they knew only Amber Alerts came through. This is the first they heard of an alert for an adult coming through. Kyrie scrolled through the page the notification sent her to. “Last seen a couple days ago at a casino not too far from us.”

“They don’t give a name?” Kyrie didn’t answer Nero. She kept skimming through the article.

“I haven't found it yet. The article just goes on about what happened. They even have the surveillance video.” Kyrie cast the surveillance video onto the living room TV. The video first showed you leaving the casino. You were stopped by someone but quickly walked away. The person yanked you towards them. You punched them then ran out of the building. More people tried to jump you as you got out of the building. You fought your kidnappers but someone stuck a needle in you from behind then threw you in a car. Kyrie continued to look for a name. “Oh, they have a better picture of them. Their name is-”

“(Y/N)” Somehow Kyrie heard V even though he said your name to himself. V felt part of his heart break as he imagined what could be happening to you. His thoughts ranged through all types of torture. V knew the reason you were taken. He had to find you and soon. V got up from the table then headed to the door. V was furious at the people who took you and himself. Why didn't he find you sooner? Why did you not try to find Vergil? If V was with you then this wouldn’t have happened. You would be with him. Both of you would watch each other’s backs.

“V, who is that?! What trouble do you think they’re in?” Nero grabbed V’s arm to prevent him from leaving. Nero has never seen V like this: filled with anger and guilt. Nero could relate to the way V felt. He had to calm V and find out what’s going on before V considered doing anything reckless. “If they’re in trouble, we’ll help you find them.”

“This is my fault.” V tried to remain calm while telling Nero what happened when you met. V even told Nero that you two had formed feelings for each other. He remembered the warmth and happiness he felt when you hugged him after defeating Carmilla. Remembering the time he spent with you brought a tiny smile to his lips.

\--------------------------------------------

You heard the door open knowing those assholes were returning with some new torture. You weren't looking forward to it. During the time you were with them they beat you, cut you, shocked you, along with other things. They tried to trick you be staging your friend's murder but you knew better. You prepared yourself for this outcome by avoiding everyone for as long as possible. You couldn’t trust anyone after what happened and didn’t want to put anyone in danger. As you predicted, other Soul Snatchers went after you. It was after your target was killed you and V found out it was the leader of the clan residing in Red Grave. "How long will you resist telling us what we want to know."

"I already told you. You will never find the one who helped me. YOU WILL NOT AVENGE THAT PIECE OF SHIT!" The man questioning you was sick of hearing you say they will fail. He kneed your stomach then started to use you as his personal punching bag. Some of the stab wounds you received reopened. As he beat you, you wondered why you let this go on for so long. You could tell these idiots any location and they would go to it. Then again if they found out you lied, you'd be in a worse situation than you're currently in. What’s really worrying you is why they haven’t killed you yet. They could have taken your soul whenever they wanted. Was their desire to see you break so strong? Are they that determined to find V?

The urge to scream and cry became stronger as time passed. You weren’t sure how much longer your body would last. You coughed up blood as the blood from your wounds trickled down your body. You bit your lip to attempt to not scream but it was no use. The pain was too much. Your assailant was more than pleased to hear you scream. You mentally cursed at yourself pissed that you showed weakness. You had no idea what sinister torture they’ll perform on you from this point on. You closed your eyes not wanting to watch what they were going to do to you. You decided to accept no one was going to find you. Your end was near but you would die before they got anything about V from you.

You chuckled to yourself. The very person you were protecting is the only one you wanted to see again. Yet you knew you were never going to see him again. You knew the best you could get was your memories with him. As you looked back into the time you spent with V you wondered if this was what “Life flashes before your eyes” meant.

**One Year Ago**

The partnership started out exactly as you predicted. Neither of you were willing to share more than necessary. Both of you traveled to different areas together. Once you got there, you went your separate ways until either of you called it a day. You knew you would have to get along better with V in order to make this partnership last. Sure, you and V helped each other when a hoard of demons attacked but you just felt like there was no point to this partnership. You asked Griffon for any tips to help with getting along with V but he was useless. 

You and V decided to call it a day and get some rest. Tomorrow you were going to go to an area closer to the demonic tree. Both of you needed as much energy as you could get to defeat all the demons that would come after you. To not die from boredom you tried to start a conversation with V to get to know him better. You knew he didn’t speak unnecessarily so you conned him by saying it would help you both. One of you may be able to pick up something the other missed. You saw him debating it within himself but he agreed. You told V what he more than likely wanted to hear: information about your target, along with what you found out about the recent events. You tried to find out some general information about V. Where he’s from? Why was he staying in Red Grave? V dodged every question or made it go back to you. Hell, you even asked if you could read his book and he said no. The exchange of information was unfair. You said way more than he did. You knew he was hiding something. If he didn’t want to say anything, fine. You left him where he was and went to bed. No point in prying something out of someone so stubborn.

You were skimming the demonology section of Red Grave’s library for the 4th (maybe 5th) time. You tried your best to avoid going to the library in the first place. Not only did you assume it would be destroyed but the majority of what you found was filled with bullshit. Most of the stuff mentions the paranormal events that inspired today’s horror movies. You were only here because V wanted to search the place. You tried to convince him it may be a waste of time but he was adamant about checking it out.

Nothing of what remained on the shelves caught your eye. You took a seat in a well lit area then searched the books on the floor. While searching you felt like someone was watching you. You looked around to see if anything was amiss. The feeling went away as soon as you started looking. You saw V reading something so you thought you were being paranoid. As you continued the search, the feeling of being watched returned. You tried to ignore it while being on guard. You found a few religious books, kids books, along with many others that didn't belong. Instead of just chucking each book you didn't need, you stacked them. What's the point in throwing them back into the mess if you were just going to come across them again? You knew you wouldn't be able to organize the whole library but it would help you find something.

Zip. Nada. Nothing. You organized the books for what felt like hours and found nothing. You were convinced you would have to search the whole library before finding something. Whether it’d be useful or not was a whole other issue. You laid on the ground debating if you should keep searching or check on V. You lifted your head to look for him. He was sitting at a table. V had his head resting on his hand with a small smile on his face. He looked content. You squinted your eyes trying to read the title of the book but soon gave up. If he found something, he’d tell you. You silently thanked Griffon when he told V to give up on finding anything here. You knew if V wasn’t going to listen to you V would do as Griffon says to shut him up.

You let V lead the way to your next destination until a store caught your eye. It was clearly broken into but not completely destroyed. Were people too scared to trash an occult store? Honestly, if you didn’t know better you would probably not mess with anything in there. You grabbed V’s hand and led him to the occult store. Griffon teased you about wanting to try out all the spells and rituals in horror movies. You explained to both of them the occult store has a better possibility of having the information they need since it wouldn’t be limited to what they can carry; demonology-wise and occult-wise. The books an occult store carries has provided more information for you in the past than a library.

From a glance you already knew the majority of the products in the store was nothing. They were products directed at teenagers who wanted to dabble with the occult (or someone who doesn’t know better). You searched around the register for a key. You knew the book you were looking for would be locked away somewhere. You headed to the back of the store as soon as you found the key. You tried to unlock every obvious thing but the key didn’t work. You moved stuff around but no hidden key hole. As you searched the back you partially heard a conversation between V and Griffon. It sounded like Griffon picking on V like always so you dismissed it. You could have sworn you heard Griffon make a comment of V growing to like you. You heard something from the front of the store so you thought it was time to check it out. You walked back to the front of the store determined to find what the key unlocks.

You cleared the floor and reorganized the store then tried the key on every possible thing. Again, nothing unlocked. An exasperated sigh escaped from you. Whatever the owner of the store was hiding, they hid it well. V quickly glanced at you then continued reading a book he picked up during your search. Griffon would not stop taunting you about not being able to find anything. You were so tired of hearing him. You would have killed him long ago if you could. You grabbed a sash from the ground, then climbed on the counter. V tried his best to ignore you but was curious as to what you were going to do. You jumped off the counter onto Griffon trying to wrap the sash around his beak. Of course he starts freaking out and flying all over the fucking store. More stuff got knocked over during your quarrel. You bit Griffon as he shook you off of him. You walked over to the broken widow to spit out Griffon's god awful taste. It was the worst thing you ever tasted. 

“I could have told you demons taste repulsive.”

“You bit a demon? When?”

“Ate.”

“ATE?! You ate a demon?! Why?!...You know what, tell me later. Help me find something sharp to rip the carpet off.” You were trying to look for a dagger to help accomplish the task you gave V. You wouldn’t be shocked if they were all gone. V command Shadow to cut the carpet. You hoped she didn’t fuck up the keyhole. You grabbed a side of the carpet, then pulled. You were able to pull some of the carpet off until your grip slipped. V caught you before you fell onto the floor. You laid against his chest mindlessly taking in his scent. For a second you remembered waking up in his chest this morning. You knew you went to bed by yourself but it was a pleasant surprise. You snapped out of it when V asked if you were okay. You instantly pushed him away then stood up. 

You heard the floorboards squeak and it felt hollow underneath. You found the door. You quickly pulled V over to the bare floor eager to rip off the rest of the carpet covering the door. You unlocked the door, then headed down the stairs. V summoned Griffon and Shadow back into him then followed. You thought your phone’s flashlight was your only source of light. You were proven wrong when you saw a candle’s flame down the corridor. You readied your gun as you proceed further. Neither of you were sure what to expect.

Both of you approached an altar that looked like it was set up for a horror movie. You didn’t pay too much attention to it. You grabbed the book near the edge of the altar. You picked up the book as you put your phone in your mouth. You chuckled as you read the book's title: _Creatures of the Occult and How to Summon Them_. Too many times have you seen summoning books with similar titles. Most of them contained bullshit information but you decided to give this one a shot. As you flipped through you noticed someone has been adding information to the book, along with personal experience. You quickly skimmed the book but knew you would need more time to go through it. You tucked the book under your arm as you took your phone out of your mouth. “Let’s go. I need more light to read this.”

Something moved from the corner then you both heard something. V took your hand directing your phone in different directions. His other hand was over your mouth. You glanced at him while nodding to indicate you won’t make a sound. You gave him your phone so he would have an easier time finding what he was looking for. You slowly stepped in front of him trying to see what the candle was illuminating. Darkness then as soon as you focused your eyes two eyes were staring at you. V turned to your direction when he heard you take a quick breath. He pushed you to the side as the creatures lunged at the two of you. 

V was on his back preventing the creature from attacking him. He was blocking the creature by forcing his cane against its throat. You grabbed your phone slicing your finger on the cracked screen. You didn’t care. You were happy the flashlight was still working. You heard shuffling as you directed the phone in V’s direction. You saw Shadow manifest from V then forced the creature off of him. The creature looked human except it was sickly pale, thin as a stick and had fangs. You guessed it was a Soul Snatcher. You doubted it was your target. Your target wouldn’t be this careless or rash. If it’s a Soul Snatcher it’s probably one from the same clan as your target.

You and V were able to lure the Soul Snatcher outside. You were shooting at it while Griffon and Shadow were attacking. V was commanding them from afar. The Soul Snatcher darted to you as it dodged Griffon’s attacks. There was no time for you to dodge so you prepared to defend yourself against its attack. Shadow appeared in front of you then used Breakthrough. Shadow’s sharp tentacles forced the creature to stop in its tracks. Griffon used Bullet against the Soul Snatcher. You blocked the Soul Snatcher’s strikes with your katana. Its attention has been on you since you and V lured it outside. It felt like you were on defense ever since. You didn’t understand why it was only going after you. V was basically wide open. Sure Shadow and Griffon would help him but it didn’t seem to give a fuck about any them. Just you.

“First, I’ll devour your soul, then the half-soul over there!”

“Half-soul?” You've never heard someone use a term like that before. You didn't even think it was possible to have half a soul. You glanced at V wondering what else he may be hiding from you. Because of this you unknowingly let your guard down. The Soul Snatcher grabbed your throat then lifted you in the air.

"You don't know. Your companion has half a soul." You had no time to think about the meaning of what it said. You dug your nails onto its hands. You kicked too but neither phased the Soul Snatcher. It threw you towards a building as Shadow used Arbiter. You slumped to the ground passing out from your impact with the building. Griffon flew away with you as V used Royal Fork. V then used Gambit to eliminate the Soul Snatcher. You watched it dissipate into silver dust as V and Shadow came to you. 

You woke up the next day wincing in pain. You don't remember what happened after the Soul Snatcher was defeated by V. Speaking of V, you didn't see him. Maybe he went to look for more information or food. You took a sharp breath as you got up. It seems the Soul Snatcher was rougher with you than you thought. You decided today was going to be a day of rest for you. You probably wouldn't be too helpful in the state you're in.

Carefully you trudged along the wall until you got outside. You found V sitting on a bench with Shadow at his feet. V was reading the book you found. You hoped he found something useful in there. You noticed Griffon wasn't around. Maybe he was sent to get more food or check the area. You sat on the ground and pet Shadow. V scooted over to give you room on the bench. "I'll come up in a bit. Did you find anything?"

"Some of what I have found will be of use later. As for now, all I know is that the tree is known as a Qliphoth Tree. The Qliphoth Tree is known to bear a fruit created by human blood. The fruit is supposed to give the one who eats it unimaginable power."

"So at this point Urizen is waiting for the fruit to form. Until then what do you think he's doing?"

"My guess would be he is eliminating all threats to him and plotting how to do so."

"Mind if I take a look through the book? I still have my information to find." You plopped on the bench then took the book from V. Your hands lightly touched. You weren't sure if V felt this since you mostly felt the coolness of his rings. You started from the beginning of the book skimming through it. As expected, the book listed everything in alphabetical order. You were curious as to what it contained but you had a job to do. You reached the "S" section and started looking for "Soul Snatcher". You moved the papers on the page then began to read.

_Soul Snatcher_

_Soul Snatchers feed on the souls of the living. They are known to drink blood too, but it is not necessary for them. The drinking of blood may be unintentional since they suck the soul out of their prey._

_Soul Snatchers look and are similar to humans, except they are extremely pale and thin. They have no gender. Soul Snatchers can shapeshift into whatever form needed in order to lure their prey. They stalk their prey to become familiar with what form is best to lure them away. They hunt children and adults but children are not as satisfying as a full grown adult. It is said Soul Snatchers lure children and herd them like sheep. Some children may be kept until fully grown instead of eating their soul right away. Very rarely will Soul Snatchers consider a child as part of their clan._

_Cannot be summoned._

You unfolded the papers that were tucked in there. You noticed they were notes left by the previous owner of the book. You sighed. Nothing new for you. You still had no idea how to find them. You thought about your experience with Soul Snatchers so far. Honestly, you didn't have much. All you picked up was the obvious. It didn't take long for you to realize the clans have a hierarchy. A Soul Snatcher you encountered before coming to Red Grave, Evelyn, was stronger than another you encountered around the same time so she must have a higher up the chain. It was more than likely meant she got the pick of better souls or could gather more easily. It made you question if your target was stronger than Evelyn.

Recalling yesterday reminded you of "half-soul". You knew you had to ask V what that meant. You just weren't sure if he would be willing to tell you. If he keeps hiding from you, you couldn't trust him. Meaning you would end the partnership. Why would you continue to work with someone you can't trust?

"V, can I ask you something?" V looked at you with a concerned look. Maybe he thought you still weren't feeling well. You explained to V what the Soul Snatcher said to you. You noticed V froze. The little color he had was drained from him. You started to consider not asking what it meant. Although you knew better. Understanding what “half-soul” meant could help you. "I guess what I want to ask you is do you know what it meant by 'half-soul'?"

You bit your lip anticipating V would avoid the question. V turned away from you. He was looking up but not at anything. It was as if he didn't want to face you. You thought maybe a different Soul Snatcher got half of his soul and he somehow survived. Maybe the event was too traumatizing. "V-v if-if it's something you don't want to talk about, then I won't force you. Maybe it just said that to distract me."

"I-a part of me has done so much to gain power. Destroyed and sacrificed so much to do so." V lowered his head as he began his confession. Tightly he gripped his cane. He explained the life of Dante and Vergil. You were confused but let V go on. You knew he was telling you this for a reason.

"Vergil freed himself from Mundus but was extremely weak. His body started to crumble. To survive he retrieved the Yamato. Once he had it, he separated man from demon hence I was born."

You sat still unsure how to process what V told you. How was it possible for someone to do what Vergil did? You looked at V. His expression was one of despair. You knew he was deep in thought thinking about what Vergil has done in the past. Through instinct you hugged him. He froze but soon grabbed your hand.


	3. The Search

**Present Day**

V grew more irritable and anxious as days passed. V asked Trish and Lady to keep an eye out for you when they went on missions. Kyrie offered to keep an eye on things in Fortuna. V had Vegril search the Underworld. Dante and Nero chose to stay with V. Not only to help search for you but to also keep him sane. V was distressed and more so each time anyone told him they had nothing to report. The only good thing to V was that your death wasn’t all over the news. 

Morrison casually waltzed in as the group returned from today’s mission. Dante’s eyes darted to the envelope he was holding. Morrison with an envelope meant one thing: Devil May Cry has a mission. Morrison explained the mission would be taking place where the Qliphoth once stood. Ever since Urizen was defeated, the government had the whole area on lockdown. They were gathering samples and studying what remained. Someone within the government hired Devil May Cry to eliminate the demons attacking the scientists.

Dante took the envelope from Morrison only to find a couple hundred bucks. Before Dante could ask, Morrison put up his hands. Majority of the money went to Dante’s debts (bills, bets he lost, payments owed to the others). Dante sulked in his chair, partially disappointed his pay wasn’t bigger. He knew this would happen but he wouldn’t mind having some extra cash once in a while. Dante already knew Nero would want in on this. He decided to ask V since he didn’t believe he searched that area yet. “V, want tag along?”

V was reading _Creatures of the Occult and How to Summon Them_ hoping to find something he may have missed. He went deep in thought with Dante’s invitation, debating if that area was worth searching. After defeating Carmilla, it appeared all the other Soul Snatchers within her clan fled. Ever since he hasn’t seen a single Soul Snatcher in Red Grave. Would any of the Soul Snatchers stick around? V was unsure. His worry for you along with lack of sleep was affecting his judgement. As V opened his lips to answer, Vergil appeared. “I have an inkling of where (Y/N) is. They may be hidden somewhere within the area where the Qliphoth was.”

“If they were there, wouldn’t someone have found them sooner?” Nero wondered.

“Not if they’re killing whoever ventures too close to their hideout….We should get going.” V knew this bait to lure him to the Soul Snatchers. He didn’t care. All he wanted was to find you. 

\--------------------------------------------

You couldn’t tell how much time has passed since you’ve been captured. A day could have passed yet it felt like eternity. Day and night didn’t exist to you any more. Your prison’s light was on at all times. You attempted to sleep whenever you could. Majority of the time your captors would wake you with torture. Whether it was a slap, punch or stab. You were thankful when you were able to get an hour's sleep.

Ever since your torture began you pleaded for it to end. Until now, you thought no one could hear your silent pleas. Yet for some reason you knew the end was coming. “How” was the question. Would they just kill you? Would your body give up from the torture? Would you reveal everything you know about V? No, you couldn’t do that. The reason was because your torture would worsen. You would be tortured with the guilt of ratting out the only person you ever became close with. You would never forgive yourself if you betrayed V.

You hung in the air taking deep breaths. You needed to calm yourself. To keep your sanity. You wanted more than anything to ignore the pain and suffering inflicted upon you. You could feel every strike, every punch. Hell, your stab wounds felt as if they were made seconds ago. You needed to focus your energy on escaping. Even if death was the only option. 

You wouldn’t deny you were afraid of dying. But you knew you danced with death more times than you should have. If death was the only way out, you would gladly welcome it. Although you did not want to die in this shit prison. Which meant you had to get the fuck out of here before death made its way to you.

You closed your eyes to block out your surroundings. At first you heard the buzzing of the lights above you. As you focused more, you could hear a muffled conversation. They were talking about planting a seed to lure who they suspected to you. They never said a name so it was a safe bet they still had no idea V helped you. They intended to lure him by revealing where they were located. Someone joined in saying they believed Vergil Sparda got word of their location. A small piece of relief for you. The possibility of you leaving was plausible. 

\--------------------------------------------

A soldier was finding a place to take a piss. Stealthy a Soul Snatcher crept up to him. The Soul Snatcher latched itself onto the soldier's throat sucking the soul out of him. The soldier screamed as he attempted to get the Soul Snatcher off him. His screams faded as the Soul Snatcher fed. It fled as everyone gathered to see what was going on. Dante, Nero, Vergil and V, along with other military personnel, arrived at the scene. The soldiers immediately accused Devil May Cry of murdering the soldier. 

Dante was (miserably) explaining to the military they had nothing to do with the soldier's death. V knew Nero would be able to help Dante so he made his way to the body. V asked Nero for his phone so he could use the flashlight function. The body didn't appear to have any wounds. V pushed the head to the side then saw it: puncture wounds along the throat. V had no doubt that a Soul Snatcher got him.

"A v-vampire attacked him?" V sighed as he pinched his nose. He should have expected someone uneducated would automatically guess "vampire". He quickly explained that it was a Soul Snatcher that attacked him. V knew he couldn't waste even a second with petty stuff. If Soul Snatchers were going after the military then you wouldn't have much time left. That is if you haven't run out of any. V shook his head not wanting to think about being too late.

Vergil was searching the area with Shadow. Nothing. Not even a damned footprint. V sighed with irritation. He needed to clearly think about what he had to do. He knew he couldn't do it around the bumbling idiots. "Where did most of the attacks occur?"

"Over there. More attacks happen the closer we get to where the weird tree was."

V commanded Griffon to fly ahead of him hoping he would find something. V hastily passed the soldier sticking to Griffon's trail. Something within V was telling him you were near. As long as he had this feeling he was not going to stop until he found you.

Dante and Nero (failed) to coordinate who would go where. It didn't help that they didn't notice V left without them. Nero got into a small argument with Vergil for not stopping V. Vergil just went after V to avoid the argument. If anyone knew how V would act in a situation like this, it was Vergil. 

"You could have waited until we came up with a plan...except I know you well enough." Vergil shot V a cocky smirk. V ignored Vergil.

\--------------------------------------------

You began to focus on yourself and your surroundings. You knew your ribs were cracked. You weren't positive if you could use your legs. You had no idea how long it's been since you actually used them. The most movement you got we're swaying them back and forth. You were lucky they decided not to keep you blindfolded the majority of the time.

You couldn't hear too much outside. The window was rarely open. More than likely this room was soundproof so no one heard you. You heard the Soul Snatchers’ frustration with you. Of course they were also threatening and insulting you. Those didn't matter, you needed to focus your hearing on what your captors' conversation was about. To listen for what could possibly be beyond the room you were prisoned in.

Your eyes snapped open when you heard something tap the window. Tears of joy ran down your face. It was Griffon, the most annoying fucking bird you ever met. But fuck that! You were instantly filled with hope...then embarrassment. You wanted to cover your wounded body. You didn’t want anyone to see you like this. You wiped your tears along your arm. You shot a small smile at Griffon, then mouthed "go". 

Your face was composed when the guard came in. Griffon automatically flew away making his way to V. The guard rushed over to you then pulled you by the hair. He pulled your head so far back you were gazing at him. His face was filled with rage. "Who the fuck does the bird belong to?"

"You’ll find out soon.” You were instantly knocked out by guard.

\--------------------------------------------

V and Vergil weren’t having any luck finding you. All they saw were dust covered abandoned buildings. Cats and other animals fighting for food in the allies. Few intact corpses here and there. V ignored all of it. He made sure to stay close to Griffon except Griffon soon flew too far away. Shadow went after him. V wasn’t sure if they went further ahead because they found something or if something found them.

"V! I found them! They're not too far from here. You gotta hurry. Things are about to get uglier." V’s widened from panic. “Uglier”? What torture did they put you through? He couldn’t spare any time to think about what you’ve been through. V and Vergil closely followed Griffon. Vergil unsheathed Yamato preparing for an ambush. V was ready to kill each and every Soul Snatcher he encountered. But was he ready to see what they have done to you?

**One Year Ago**

Nero called to discuss his and V's plans for when they met up. You didn't want to sit around and do nothing. You needed to find the target and soon. You invested more time than you wanted tracking the damned thing. At this point you may be losing better paying missions by choosing to complete this one.

You searched below the occult store where the altar used to be. The altar got shattered when you and V were attacked. Pieces of it were scattered everywhere. There wasn't anything worth investigating. You made your way to where the Soul Snatcher came from. Low and behold, there was a door down the hall. It was difficult to find even with your flashlight. Gun drawn you opened the door. Lower class demons were lurking beyond the door. Children's corpses, along with Soul Snatchers', laid sporadically on the floor. Their dulled lifeless eyes stared at you and beyond. Clothing and flesh were trapped between the demons' fangs. Blood ran down their jaws into the already formed puddles. “Of fucking course.”

The demons switched their attention to you, a fresh meal. You shot one in the head before it could make a move. The other you nicked. You jumped out of the way realizing you underestimated its speed. You landed two shots in its chest as you hid behind a pillar. You could hear it looking for you. A few more shots you took then hid. It sounded like the demon hit the floor. You knew your magazine was empty. So you put the gun in its holster then unsheathed your katana. You gave the demon a good stab to the heart, then proceeded to search the area. Your only achievement was finding a list of more possible locations. You cursed at yourself as you made your way back to V.

You and V searched another abandoned area and below. The building had nothing of interest. Below was a whole different story. Another altar greeted you. Before this mission you only saw them in movies. Now, you’re seeing more than you ever imagined under Red Grave. You were concerned about a giant cult hiding in Red Grave. Then again, if the cult consisted of humans, they’d be dead or run away if they were smart. Nothing special about the props. The altar itself had symbols carved into it. You took a couple pictures with your cracked phone hoping the book would have some information about them.

V was tapping his cane along the walls. Metallic rings against the walls were all that could be heard. Unwelcomed shivers ran down your spine. V froze stopping his tapping. Both of you heard a slight crack. Too soon after another crack, then rumbling from above. Was the building about to fucking collapse?! You both instantly ran. Up the stars, out the building then onwards. You stopped when you believed you were a safe distance away.

A giant sinkhole engulfed the building. You were beyond pissed. Every time you get closer to your target, something has to fuck you over. You made your way over to the sinkhole. You had to check if there was a path beyond the altar. A tap from the handle of V’s cane stopped you. Shadow manifested ahead of you then made her way to the sinkhole. You took a seat on the bench next to V. Waiting. For what, you had no fucking idea.

Before you heard the rumbling of buildings collapsing. Now complete silence. It was agonizing. You tried to keep your mind focused on your mission. You found more corpses recently except they weren’t drained by the Qliphoth roots. These corpses had punctures on their throats. It was evident your target was still in Red Grave yet you had no idea if the corpses were killed by your target or others within its clan. Honestly, you had no idea how big the clan was. Did they all survive during this time? Just thinking about the damned target irritated you. You were so close. Too bad yo kept getting pushed further back.

V’s head gently laid on your shoulder. He was taking a nap again. V resting and taking naps more frequently than when you met concerned you. This didn’t occur too often but too much for your liking. Was what the Soul Snatcher said true? Is V starting to die because he only has half of his soul? The thought upset you. He was probably the only person you ever got close to. He listens to you, shows interest in what you do and helps you when you need it. You weren’t sure if it was because of the partnership. If it was, you were happy to be with someone who cares even if it was only for a bit longer. 

You petted his hair while pushing a few of his black locks out of his face. He looked troubled. You didn’t think he was having a nightmare. Maybe he was dreaming of something bothering him. Your mind drifted to V. He found out everything he needed a while ago. You knew he stayed with you to hold up his end of the deal. You didn’t want him to die before accomplishing his goal because he was stuck helping you. For his sake, you had to tell V you no longer needed his help. So he could rest properly before going up against Urizen. You just had to figure out how without upsetting him.

Shadow returned with a mangled Soul Snatcher corpse. She placed the corpse in front of you. Gently you woke V by moving your shoulder. He looked at you with his emerald eyes questioning what happened. You tilted your head at the corpse before you. V sat up then examined the corpse with you. Claw marks, bite marks, missing limbs. The marks looked fresh. Too fresh. Did the Soul Snatchers become so desperate for food they ate their own clan? Maybe a herd of demons got them? Only one way to find out.

Shadow led you, V and Griffon to where she found the corpse. You wished she had the ability to talk instead of Griffon. You didn’t want V wasting his energy for nothing. The putrid scent of rotting corpses and who knows what else sucker punched your nose. You instantly covered it cursing it wasn’t helping. Piles of fly covered corpses made of adults, children, demons and Soul Snatchers, dried up blood, scattered limbs littered the area. You almost thought you were in an abandoned slaughterhouse. You wished you found what you needed below the occult store. You couldn’t waste any time so you sucked it up and got to work.

“Hey, why don’t you zap these flies away? They’re getting in my way.” You were fed up with the flies flying into your face. One almost made its way up your nostril. Your annoyance with the flies would affect your work. You would find the quickest excuse to leave. Which you knew better than to do.

“What do I look like? A fucking bug zapper!?” Your bickering went on until Griffon swallowed a fly. If he was going to eat, he wanted something a hell of a lot better than a fucking fly. Griffon sent small sparks of lightning throughout the area. Zapping the flies one by one. To damn bad they were endless.

V found a note within one of the disgusting piles. He kept it since you would probably make it more illegible than it already is. You and Shadow were mostly covered in blood, sweat, and corpse juice. You don’t know how but you managed to not barf. You were impressed V was able to keep a composed façade the whole time. You couldn’t stand being here any longer so you decided to call it. Griffon was the first to leave bitching about how gross the place was. You were irked. The fucker didn’t search through the fucking corpses. He just did the one job you gave him: zap the flies.

You felt somewhat refreshed after getting cleaned up. You sat next to V while drying your hair with a towel. You could tell V was having trouble reading the note. He stared intensely at the note. You took the note from his hand recognizing the language: Enochian. If you remembered correctly it’s a dead language once spoken by demons. Very few creatures fluently speak it. You stared at the note wishing it would literally spell out (in English) what it said. You tried to remember what you learned about the language. Griffon flew onto V’s shoulder ready to jeer at you. V gripped Griffon’s beak shut not wanting him to interrupt you. 

“They’re hiding somewhere at the opposite end of town. But what fucking clues where left to reveal their exact location?” V faced your phone to you. He was showing you the symbols you took pictures of. You gave V a baffled look unsure how symbols for a ritual would lead you to your target.

“I’ve noticed a few of these symbols at the other locations we searched. I thought the same as you at first. Then it became clear these symbols were directions. Follow the directions and you’ll find your target.” Lucky for you, the previous owner of Creatures of the Occult and How to Summon Them left basically every detail of their findings in the book. V already saved the page explaining the symbols for you. You honestly believed you would find your target soon.

The mini celebration you started in your head soon vanished. You had to convince V to stay behind. You knew he would be persistent. You thought making him stay behind would anger him. You knew V never wanted to be seen as weak or helpless. Except he needs what strength he has for his goal. V helped you more than enough. You couldn’t think of any good possible outcome from doing what you had to so fuck it. You mustered what courage you could then got V’s attention. 

“Um, V?” V looked at you with his concerned filled emerald eyes. Your nerves were starting to take over. You tried to be still the best you could. (You never understood how you had no problem killing demons and other creatures yet had difficulty telling someone something they don’t want to hear.) “Why don’t you stay behind? You know, plan some more about how to defeat Urizen.”

“Nero and I have discussed what we needed to do.” 

“Oh...then maybe you want to get some more rest before meeting up with Nero?” V’s eyes darkened with anger and annoyance. You could see V putting together what you were trying to avoid saying. You bit your lip and cursed at yourself.

“I believe our deal was you help me gather information in exchange for helping you find the Soul Snatcher. Until then, there is no time to rest.” V left you to go to bed. Shadow and Griffon followed him. You were paralyzed by V’s harsh tone and his fury. You sat staring at the Qliphoth glowing red. The night approaching complemented the Qliphoth. You weren’t sure what to do. Empusas flew here and there searching for food. They were too far away so they never noticed you. Screams and cries could be heard. All too soon did they vanish.

You got up from the bench more than sure V would be asleep. You gathered everything you needed except the book. Soft echoes could be heard as you made your way to V. V was sleeping to the sound of Griffon sleep talking. You giggled at Griffon’s argument about him deserving the greatest meal on earth. From the sound of it he was arguing with a chef and maybe V. Shadow was staring right at you the entire time you made your way to the book. You were thankful she wasn't trying to stop you and didn’t wake V. You grabbed the book. You gave V one last kiss on his forehead which softened his sleeping expression. You gave Shadow a good scratch behind her ears. Silently, you closed the door, then continued your search.


	4. The Decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly spicy for a little bit

**Present Day**

Lower class Soul Snatchers made their appearance as V and Vergil got closer to you. Vergil swiftly cut through them. Griffon and Shadow were ahead weakening the others. V ended each one with his cane. None of these Soul Snatchers were a priority but there were too many to ignore. V and Vergil knew this was a ploy to tire them before reaching you. V had to retain his strength and demonic power so Vergil told V to go ahead. (These were nothing compared to what Vergil had to face in the past.) V left Vergil to deal with the pests. 

It didn’t take long for V to find the hideout. Your captor was standing on the roof, waiting. V stopped. His eyes widened with worried disbelief. You were pulled to the edge of the roof then you were forced to kneel before your captor. Your captor stepped on your ankle’s chains ensuring you’ll stay put. You were so happy to see V, but your tears were not of joy. You were mortified with V seeing you like this: completely exposed and defeated. You turned your head away, unable to look at V. You bit your lip keeping your whimpers to a minimum. Your captor forced you to face V by pulling your hair.

V's eyes darkened. Without realizing it he prepared to summon Nightmare. Vergil appeared, grabbing V’s arm. He warned V not to be rash. They couldn’t risk injuring you more than you already are. Vergil feared you wouldn’t last much longer. You’ve been tortured for over a week straight. No time to rest or heal. He knew your injuries were never treated. If anything you were given below minimum treatment. Anything to keep you barely breathing. Vergil could sense you were grasping the last bit of life you had left. They had to save you before your time runs out.

“Well, I was expecting only Vergil Sparda. The other I was not. Maybe now (Y/N) will tell me who killed Carmilla.” You felt a blade above your throat. All you could do was stay still. You wished more than anything that you had the energy to fight him. Cold sweat formed as your body became numb. Your heartbeat became faster anticipating the worst. Your eyes gazed up at your captor. His sinister smile instantly told you you were going to die no matter what answer you gave. You took a gulp of air. You looked down at V and Vergil mentally telling them how thankful you were they found you. The featherlight slice from the blade brought you back to your situation. “I’m waiting.”

“As I told you when you captured me. I’m not telling you shit!” Out of spite your captor brutally sliced your throat. You struggled to breathe as he kicked you off the building. You felt the kick, then everything became a blur. You weren’t sure why you chose to keep V a secret until the very end. Perhaps it was because you wanted to protect him. You couldn’t let him die because of you. Or perhaps you thought the ones in front of you were other Soul Snatcher’s deceiving you.

V and Vergil were frozen in place absorbing what they just saw. Seeing you fall is what snapped them out of it. V ran to you, desperate to catch you. Vergil knew V wouldn’t get to you in time. He teleported closer to the building then jumped. Gently, he laid you on the ground as V made his way to you. Vergil was doing what he could to help you. V knelt beside you pushing your hair out of your face. V was speechless. He tried to speak to you but his words got tangled in his throat. All V could do was watch you, feeling completely useless.

“V!...V?...V!? HEY SHAKESPEARE!!!” The other Soul Snatchers were gathering ready for their meal. Griffon was waiting for V to summon Shadow and for a command. V was still not saying a word. “Why?” was all V could think of. Why couldn’t he find you sooner? Why didn’t he save you sooner? Why couldn’t he help you now?

“Damn, you two didn’t have to steal all the fun.” Dante shot at the Soul Snatchers getting too close to V. Nero shot at your captor preventing him from getting to V. Dante stood behind V while Nero crouched next to V. Nero’s heart nearly stopped. He couldn't process what happened to you. What did you do to deserve this? Nero couldn’t fathom what was going on with V. Unlike V, Nero would be reassuring you you would be okay while concealing his wrath. And that’s what he did.

Dante’s attention was fixated on your captor. His nostrils were filled with the scent of your blood. His ears were filled with your struggle for air. He wouldn’t deny he became more worried when he heard Nero’s reassurances. He asked what happened but no one answered. Your captor encouraged Dante to look. Dante knew better. Your captor lunged at Dante as Dante shot another Soul Snatcher. Nero quickly got up and helped Dante get rid of the remaining Soul Snatchers.

V couldn’t motivate himself to get up; to fight. He truly believed he lost you. Vergil convinced him otherwise. While searching for you in the Underworld, Vergil found a demonic healer. Vergil doesn’t know what it would want in exchange for healing you but it was the only option they had. V didn’t care what the price was. What he wanted was for you to live. V nodded at Vergil giving him the okay to take you. Vergil sliced a portal to the healer then left with you.

V terminated the Soul Snatchers that attempted to pursue Vergil. He faced your tormentor filled with wrath he thought he could never conjure. V made it his personal mission to obliterate him and every Soul Snatcher that walked the earth. Tightly he gripped his cane then pointed it at your tormentor. Mindlessly, he commanded Griffon and Shadow then summoned Nightmare. “What evil lurks...I must destroy.” 

\----------------------------------------

Vergil placed you on the ground, then the healer kneeled next to you. The healer hovered her claws over your body. Vergil had his guard up even though he knew she was examining you. She felt all of your pain, your sorrow, your fear and much more. Vergil growled indicating she needed to start healing you before it was too late. She was annoyed but understood. She let her hand rest above your throat then casted a small spell to ease the pain. To Vergil it appeared that she did nothing. She continued to examine the rest of you. The healer looked at Vergil with grief filled eyes. “I can heal them physically if that is what you seek. Although, it will take much more to completely heal them.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you think they will easily continue living normally after the suffering they endured?” Vergil grunted with annoyance. He looked away unable to answer the healer. She was right. Vergil couldn’t imagine what you’ve been through. The torture Mundus inflicted upon him was probably worse than what happened to you. It took some time for Vergil to heal and adjust after escaping Mundus and becoming whole. Yet, Vergil knows you’re not him. It may take a long time for you to fully recover or maybe you never will. “I can seal their memories...but it will not be forever.”

“...Do what you must to fully heal them.” The healer nodded, then placed her hands on your throat and forehead. She chanted a spell to heal your body. Once your body became fully healed, she looked into your memories. Vergil sat down next to you holding your hand. He was unsure if he made the right decision.

**One Year Ago**

The opposite side of Red Grave was a graveyard compared to where you and V were. To you the area was empty yet you could sense the presence of others. The corpses you saw weren't drained by the Qliphoth roots like the others. These were mutilated. Someone or something became desperate for food. It was evident from the bite marks. To keep yourself in a decent mood you wondered if V was joking about eating a demon. (You really hoped he was. The image of him eating one made you want to barf.)

You opened Creatures of the Occult and How to Summon Them to see where you needed to go. You thought following the symbols would be easy. Instead the symbols were a riddle revealing where to go. Or maybe it was just your guilt for leaving V distracting you. Maybe a part of you didn’t want to complete your mission without him. You shook your head. You left him behind for his own good. There’s nothing you need to feel guilty about. You needed to focus or you could get killed.

“I see you made some progress.” You turned to the voice. You couldn’t believe V found you so quickly.

“V, you should be resting. You’re supposed to meet Nero in a couple days.”

“I have gotten more than enough rest.”

“V, go. You need to spare as much strength as you can to defeat Urizen.” You turned your attention back to the symbols. You hoped he would listen. He didn’t. You can hear V’s cane tap the ground as he made his way to you. You buried your head in the book. 

V prevented you from stepping away by trapping you between his arms. He was almost pinning you to the wall. His proximity was a bigger distraction than you wanted to admit. His breath tickled your ear. His lips lightly brushed it with each word of his reasoning to stay with you. You honestly wanted to give in. NO! You had to stick with your decision. You pushed V’s arm out of the way then continued to figure out what the symbols were saying. V wrapped an arm around your waist. He pulled you to him as he twirled you. Your eyes widened when his lips hit yours. His tongue easily entered your mouth as he pushed you up against the wall. You were more than hesitant to repay the gesture. Yes, you enjoyed it but you never thought V would resort to something like this to get what he wants. Something was off.

“V, enough.” V tightened the grip on your waist as you tried to pry him off of you. The nibbles on your neck became rougher, harder. It felt as if he was trying to eat you. Realization hit you. This wasn’t V. This was Carmilla. You did the first thing that came to mind to get her off of you. You stomped on her foot then slammed your knee into her. You took advantage of her loosened grip by pushing her away from you. Her fangs grazed your skin, giving her a tantalizing taste of your blood. You managed to gain some distance between you and Carmilla. “I said enough, Carmilla.”

“I can already tell your soul will be worth the wait.” Carmilla licked her lips as she morphed to her preferred appearance. You now understood why she was able to devour so many souls so easily. Saying she looked like a celebrity was an understatement. Her beauty was more godlike, divine. Her strawberry blonde hair was somehow able to show off her figure perfectly. Her delighted laughter was enchanting. You would bet her silver tongue had no faults. She looked at you so sweetly yet with so much hunger. That look changed to determination when she charged at you.

You did your best to avoid Carmilla while shooting her. Carmilla was able to dodge your bullets with little difficulty. Very few grazed her. She threw you against a building almost knocking you out. You tried to get up but it was feeling near impossible. You heard the building above you readying to fall. Quickly, you gained composure to dodge the falling building. You were pissed that you were getting your ass beat. You wanted nothing more than to see her cockiness turn into sheer terror.

Carmilla was watching you like a predator who watches their prey. To herself she admitted she was amused with your efforts to survive. (Too bad the fun had to end.) She knew you weren’t going to last much longer. She was looking forward to having your soul. For the first time in almost a month she was going to have a delicious meal. All the souls she could find were disgusting. At first she devoured the souls of her fellow clansmen. As time passed she had to settle for bums off the street or whatever she could get. Nothing could beat the taste of a powerful soul. 

Carmilla appeared before you then threw you up into the air. She kicked you back into the ground from midair. You rolled onto your arms coughing up blood. You knew you wouldn’t last much longer if she kept this shit going. She was going to play with you until the very end. You shot at her while she was in the air then quickly rolled to the side as she landed. The force of Carmilla’s landing caused a hole in the street. You continued to shoot at her as you both fell into the subway system. 

As you got up you saw Carmilla make a graceful landing then headed straight for you. You tried to shoot her only to find out you ran out of bullets. You threw the guns then drew your katanas. Just as she strikes you swung your katana. All you managed to do was give her a shallow cut. The only thing you could do was fight her head on. Although, you were trying your damned hardest to get her away from you. Carmilla nearly took your eye out as you dodged her strike. You cut her abdomen earning a scream from her. 

You don’t know how but you managed to hide from Carmilla. You were lying under a subway. Trying to breathe without making too much noise. You were more than certain you wouldn’t last much longer. You severely underestimated Carmilla’s abilities and strength. You never encountered a demon like her. Not one with strength like hers. The other Soul Snatchers you encountered were nothing compared to her. This mission is way more than you could handle. You would bet your client kept as much information to himself because he knew this. Fucking bastard. You would demand more from him once you were done with this bullshit.

You tried to think of everything you could do to end her. Not much came to mind. If anything, it was to retreat and find V. Except you knew Carmilla would never let you get away...alive. As if the wind was passing, Carmilla was right next to you. She threw the subway you were under out of her way. You bolted from your lying position, preparing for whatever came next. Carmilla threw you against the subway. You couldn’t get up; continue fighting. All you could do was sit up and wait for your demise. But one last idea came to you. It was more than likely not going to work but it was better than doing nothing. Carmilla made her way to you, chuckling. She was more than certain she won this fight.

When Carmilla was close enough, you used the last of your strength to lift yourself up. One last time you cut her hoping this fight would end. Unexpectedly, something pierced through her heart. (Whatever pierced her, cut you pretty deep.) Carmilla’s body fell once the object was removed from her. You collapsed onto the ground, landing in a puddle of Carmilla’s blood. Her lifeless body was facing you. Her strawberry blonde hair now dyed crimson red. Her empty expression staring into your soul. 

“(Y/N)!” V’s voice was replaced by purring. An all too familiar tongue was licking you. You wanted to repay the kind gesture with a scratch behind Shadow’s ears. You couldn’t move. You were beaten and exhausted. All you could hear was V saying your name and begging you to stay with him as you lost consciousness.

You could hear V reading from his book. He was trying to read loud enough for you to hear without grabbing the attention of any nearby demons. Slowly you opened your eyes to a petite candle’s flame. You gingerly sat yourself up. The pain from your fight with Carmilla caused you to take a sharp breath. All you wanted to do was stretch your arms. You were not going to enjoy the next few weeks with the condition you were in. “Fuck.” 

“Don’t push yourself.” V closed his book then looked at you. His gentle green eyes stared at you. You gave him a small smile then winced. You were starting to feel the aches your slumber numbed. V almost shot out of his seat to help you. You forced him back down when you hugged him. V hugged you back, pulling you into his lap. Your face was buried in his neck. His was buried in your hair. Both of you sat still letting your hug express what you were feeling.

V brushed your hair behind your ear then kissed your forehead. His head slightly dipped to peck your lips. You kissed him back wanting to deepen it. V pulled away. He did not want you doing anything that would further harm you. You complied by going back onto the “bed”. You scooched to the side so V could join you. You laid your head on his shoulder while he resumed reading poetry to you. Loosely you wrapped your arms around one of V’s. You glanced up at him noting a hint of a smile from him. You never wanted this moment to end.

Ruffling, shuffling and Griffon’s voice instantly woke you. You immediately thought you were getting attacked. Seeing Shadow lying on the “bed” said otherwise. Thank, god. You found V getting ready to leave. You were saddened but you knew V had to go after Urizen. Thinking about when you and V met made you giggle. V gave you a questioning look. “It seems I made the right call with my counter offer. Don’t you think?’

“Indeed.” V gave you a bittersweet smile.

“Having second thoughts?”

“...Not for the reason you think.”

“What do you mean?”

“...After today, you will never see _me_ again…Remember?”

“Y-yeah, I remember…” You bit your lip to stop yourself from crying. You wanted V to stay with you and you could sense he wanted to stay with you. Both of you knew you couldn’t stay with each other. You were still healing. V would die if he chose to stay with you instead of going after Urizen. “So, this is ‘goodbye’?”

“I am afraid so.” V gave you one of his rings so you would remember him. He gave you one last kiss then made his departure. You couldn’t look away from him as he got further away from you.


	5. The Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not a medical professional so I cannot say if this chapter accurately portrays PTSD. I did research it and compared it to what I have written. From what I saw, it looks like the reader is going through something along the lines of PTSD.
> 
> Part of the poem V reads is "Auguries of Innocence" by William Blake.

**Present Day**

Vergil returned with you to Devil May Cry not too long after the others. Everyone gathered around, excited to finally meet you. (Although, they wished it was under better circumstances.) Nero covered Nico’s mouth, quieting her before she exclaimed her excitement about meeting you. Vergil reminded everyone you’ve been through a lot and needed rest. A lot of it. He also stressed the importance of giving you space once you regain consciousness. Vergil didn’t want you to become overwhelmed by everyone bombarding you at once. You would need time to readjust to your life; to relearn what you have forgotten.

“Try not to wake (Y/N).” Vergil left the room as V approached you. A big sigh of relief left him. You were okay just like Vergil promised you’d be. Lovingly, V stroked your hair. He got onto his knees, then placed a tender kiss on your forehead. A tiny smile graced your lips. To not disturb slumber, V took his leave.

Vergil was sitting outside enjoying the night’s cool breeze. No, he was still trying to figure out how to tell V the decision he made. Ever since he made the decision he has been trying to find the best way to tell V. Vergil knew V wouldn’t take it well. Especially since he didn't know if all or some of your memories were sealed.

It wasn’t hard for V to find Vergil. He recognized Vergil’s agitated sigh anywhere. V’s expression showed Vergil he wanted to know what happened. Vergil chose to explain to V what the healer explained to him. V’s grip on his cane was so tight his knuckles whitened. He was furious Vergil made the decision of you possibly forgetting him. But, he understood why. V expressed to Vergil he wanted you to be okay no matter what. And that’s what Vergil achieved. Before V said anything he shouldn’t, he left.

Slowly, you opened your eyes, then you observed your surroundings. You had no idea where you were. After further inspection, you realized you were in someone’s bedroom. The room more than likely belonged to the man next to you. You studied the sleeping man. A book with a “V” on the cover was on his face. Pale, slender, covered in tattoos and some bruises. You wondered who he was. That thought soon vanished. Silently, you freaked out when you saw a panther by his feet. Even more so when you saw the bird next to him. Does that bird have three pupils?!

“Hey Shakespeare, wake up! (Y/N) is awake.” The bird ruffled his feathers, then flew around the room. The panther lazily yawned then looked up at you. It would have pounced onto you but the man commanded it not to. His sultry voice soothed you yet you don’t know why. You’ve never met him. Or at least you didn't think you did.

Heartbreak filled V’s eyes when you told him you didn’t know who he was. You could tell he was restraining himself from approaching you. V wanted to hold you; to do whatever he could to make you remember him. To make him feel better you mentioned his voice was familiar to you. V’s saddened eyes lightened with hope. He knew you would remember him in due time.

To get an idea of how much has been sealed away, V convinced you to tell him about your life. You briefly babbled about your childhood. Nothing too unusual about it. You glossed over your demon hunting training. You didn't have many friends because of it. You slightly elaborated your demon hunting career. Honestly, you enjoyed it and would never leave it. When you reached recent events, nothing came to mind. All you could remember was meeting with a gentleman for a job. You couldn’t remember the conversation or what the job was.

V meticulously chose his words while explaining what happened to you and how you met him. He also kept some details to himself. You took it as him not wanting to offend you. V did not want to be the reason you regain your horrid memories so soon. He knew you would remember eventually yet he will try to prolong it for as long as possible.

**Few Years Later**

You were surrounded by darkness. The sound of your breathing was interrupted by an agonizing scream. A familiar scream. You couldn’t remember where you heard it from. But you knew it. You instinctively followed it. The scenery changed as you made your way to the scream. The scenes varied from a bar to chaotic parts of Red Grave. It felt as if you were a part of each scene. As if you were reliving someone’s life. 

The screams were muffled when you spotted an out of place door. The same door you’ve been seeing for too many nights. You banged on the door. Its barrier forced you away once again. You stared at the door, cursing at it. Each time you approach the door, the same thing happens. You didn’t know why you let yourself repeat this scenario so many times: banging the door non-stop till your hands bleed and the screaming abruptly stops. You wanted to say it was because you wanted to save whoever was behind the door. For some reason curiosity was more of a reason. You were unsure if you were curious to see who was behind the door or what was happening. There was no doubt you would find out soon. The barrier was significantly weaker than when you first saw it.

The muffled screams were non-stop. Whoever was screaming seemed to be in more pain than before. Desperately, you kicked the door while reassuring whoever was on the other side you were there to help. Nothing seemed to be working. It made no sense. It was a simple door. Nothing special about it besides the barrier. It didn’t matter. You had to get through it. 

The door's final attempt to keep you away woke you. Your eyes shot open. Your mind felt hazy, then it was racing. Your heart was beating frantically. Sweat rolled down your body as you sat up. You growled from irritation when you realized you were in your room.

“(Y/N), are you alright? It seemed like you were having another nightmare.” V’s worried voice relaxed you. He softly caressed your face then kissed your forehead.

“The dream with the damned door...like almost every night now…” You were so frustrated with it. At first, you didn’t mind not opening it. You can’t always achieve something on the first attempt. After a couple weeks, well...It started to become frustrating. You tried to stop yourself from going near the door. The temptation of seeing what was behind it grew stronger with each attempt to open it. Not only did it create the most interesting scenarios the closer you got to opening it. It also seemed to be calling you to it. You were too close to give up on it now.

You yawned as you rubbed your temples. Lazily, you kissed V on the cheek then made your way to the bathroom. Whispered curses could be heard through the bathroom door. 

V’s eyes followed you until the door blocked his view. His worry for you grows each time you mention the door to him. Ever since you started to dream about that door, you slowly started to become different. When the door made its first appearance, you became more irritable. V thought the irritability was from difficulty sleeping. He read poetry to you before bed but it didn’t always work. 

The next thing V noticed was your interactions with everyone changed. Most of the time you would secretly observe them as if you were on a mission. Sometimes, you would barely talk to them or get lost during a conversation. V knew you were listening. It just seemed other stuff was on your mind. Other times you put up your guard when around a crowd of people.

Attempts to discuss your behavioral changes were made. Each time you yelled at V, confirming nothing was wrong. When you realized you were yelling at him, you automatically apologized. You explained to V you had no idea why you were acting the way you were. V would try to get some sort of explanation out of you. Eventually, you explained it was your dream with the door. The weaker the door got, the more realistic the dreams from it felt. 

V was certain the door in your dreams was the seal to your memories. V brought up his concerns for you with Vergil the first chance he got. Solemnly, Vergil explained to V once the seal was released it cannot be remade. V was furious but hid it well. Instead of dealing with his feelings about this, he focused on you. Whenever you needed him, he was there. Whenever you were feeling down or anxious, he would do everything he could to make you feel better and safe.

\--------------------------

You and V were on a double date with Nero and Kyrie. Kyrie wanted to have dinner at a new restaurant on the other side of Red Grave. The subway ride there was like any other subway ride. Nothing exciting to see. All of you chatted with each other, trying to decide where else to go besides the restaurant. You were excited to see a whole new part of Red Grave. It took the government long enough to start rebuilding it after what happened. Yet for some reason an uneasy feeling started to consume you.

Kyrie and Nero got off the subway with V following behind them. They’re voices faded as they neared the exit. You sat in the subway, staring at the advertisement on the station’s wall. The advertisement seemed familiar to you in a way. Yes, you’ve seen this advertisement in many places but that wasn’t it. It was as if this specific advertisement contained something. You were convincing yourself it was nothing and to catch up with the others. You couldn’t think of any reason as to why you didn’t want to get off the subway. You forced yourself to get off when the last call was announced.

A flash from a faulty light took you to a destroyed version of the subway station. The advertisement you were looking at before was torn. Not from age but from claws. As you turned your head, you saw the subway was no longer on the tracks. It was stuck in the wall on the opposite side of the tracks. Chunks of the station were around you, along with corpses. Broken electrical wires and pipes were above you. You turned your head again. Your eyes focused on the claws about to strike you. Your instincts screamed at you to defend yourself. “Get away from me!”

“V, are you okay?!” Kyrie’s voice rang through your ears. Your eyes shot open. The station was intact. Not one thing was out of place. Nero was helping V get up. V reassured Nero he could get up on his own. You could see a bruise forming on his chest. You were petrified. Nothing could explain what just happened or why. _I attacked V? No, that’s not right. I punched something else. I was being attacked._

“V, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” You examined V’s chest while apologizing to him over and over. V continued his reassurance. He didn’t want to ruin anyone’s mood, especially yours. He kept quiet about how much your punch hurt him. He gently wiped your guilt ridden tears. He kissed your hand, then led the way to the restaurant. You squeezed his hand, pouring your emotions into it. “I’m so sorry, my love.”

V kept himself composed the entire time. Within himself, V was more than worried. He felt your fear through your punch. Your eyes were filled with fear and yet they had determination. The last time he saw you like this was when you almost died. V had no doubt your memories will be freed soon. 

V and Nero froze as you and Kyrie crossed the street. Disbelief filled them. They couldn’t believe the shitty luck today was presenting. The restaurant was on the roof of the building you were held captive at. Nero was spitting out excuses for V to get you away from here. There was no way either of them could let you enter that building, let alone let you eat dinner exactly where you were almost murdered. Before either of them could get to you, they watched Kyrie pull you into the building. Nero muttered “fuck” as he and V made their way to the restaurant.

Nervously, you laughed as Kyrie pulled you to the building. The uneasy feeling from earlier strengthened the closer you got to it. The feeling continued to worsen as you reached the roof. Your stomach was in knots. Your breathing started to become shaky. Your mind screamed for you to get away. You couldn't understand what was going on with you. You noticed Nero and V were a bit hesitant about coming to this place too. So maybe it wasn’t just you freaking out over nothing. 

You wrapped a few ice cubes in napkins then placed it on V’s chest. You kept apologizing to him. You couldn’t understand why he wasn’t mad at you. All you saw was his concern for you. You wanted to explain to V what happened earlier. Just not with an audience. Everyone would think you lost your damn mind. 

You couldn't stop yourself from figuring out why the events from earlier happened. Your mind conjured up so many reasons. You tried to figure out which one was a plausible reason. You didn’t want V to hear it was because of your damned dreams again. You’ve been using them as an excuse for too long. You could only conclude work may be starting to become too much. Maybe you needed a vacation. Who knows? 

“(Y/N)”? You looked at Nero like a deer in headlights. Was he reading your mind? You weren’t sure. He was giving you a questioning look. Sheepishly, you apologized for not listening then asked him to repeat himself. You found out everyone was discussing the changes made when this part of town was rebuilt.

“What happened here? I know the Qliphoth was here. It just seems something else happened too.” Nero threw V into the spotlight. V’s explanation was vague. It barely gave you the answer you were looking for. You gave Kyrie a look, silently asking her if V was hiding something from you. Kyrie’s reply was a subtle shrug. She had no idea what was going on.

Dinner continued normally. It was as if everything from earlier never happened. Nero and Kyrie acting lovey dovey. You and V were trying not to tease them. It scared you how easily everyone was able to push something like that aside. 

V glanced at you, looking for any sign that you were well. Ever since you entered the restaurant he noticed you were shaking. He knew you were attempting to hide it. The shaking appeared so strong, everyone thought you were freezing. He noticed you barely touched your food even though you claimed you were starving earlier. V thought it was best if you and him went home after dinner.

You and everyone else walked along the edge of the roof to exit the restaurant. V used his cane to deviate your wandering eyes to him. He made absolutely sure you didn’t look below or beyond. He had to. He wanted to prevent you from feeling worse than you already are. He feared you would remember what happened here.

Kyrie managed to find enough room to take a couple of pictures. Nero tried to get out of it by saying he didn’t look decent enough. V attempted to convince Kyrie to wait since the restaurant was crowded. Kyrie asked what was the harm of taking a couple pictures. It’s been too long since Kyrie got to take group photos. Also, the sunset would be the perfect background. The guys sighed in defeat.

You and Kyrie gushed over the pictures as you continued to leave the restaurant. Nero pleaded with Kyrie to wait until she was out of the restaurant to look at them. Kyrie showed Nero the picture she was currently looking at. Nero made a quick comment, then placed his hands on her shoulders. You and V watched Nero guide Kyrie. It was entertaining, even impressive. Nero had Kyrie dodge everyone coming through the door.

Your laughter at Nero and Kyrie was abruptly interrupted. Someone forced their way between you and V causing you to slam into the railing. As you situated yourself, you caught a glimpse of a black haired figure below. For just a second, the figure looked like a beaten V. You knew V wasn’t down there, he was next to you. You couldn’t stop yourself from checking. You saw V, then someone strangely familiar looking at the table behind him. Briefly, you tried to remember how you knew him.

“Are you ok-tell me who killed Carmilla!” The calm voice evolved into an aggressive demand. You couldn’t figure out who was talking to you. The demand was repeated. You kept quiet. You had no idea who Carmilla was. You don’t remember any mission involving anyone with that name. The harshness of the demand escalated until it evolved into yelling in your ear. You covered your ears but it sounded like it was coming from all over. Even from right next to you.

“I’m not telling you shit. Give up.” The haughty voice was yours, but you didn’t move your lips. The sound of powerful strikes, along with your whimpers followed. Frantically, you searched for help. Nothing. No one. It was just you and the one asking about Carmilla. You closed your eyes preparing for the next strike. You started to take deep breaths. It was the only thing you believed would put everything back into place.

Few people asked if V wanted them to call an ambulance. V persuaded everyone to leave you be. He reassured them you would be fine and needed to be left alone. He knew the best thing for you was to have as much space as possible. To have as much time as you need to gather yourself. He knew you needed him too, but there was no way to physically calm you without possibly making the situation worse.

You stood still, gripping the rail for dear life. V studied the rhythm of your deep breaths and heaving chest. It was obvious you were trying to calm yourself. Even more obvious you were currently reliving your time while held captive here. Nightmarish thoughts raced through V’s mind. Nothing he conjured could be compared to what you actually went through. He wanted to understand but couldn’t come close to. In hopes of helping you and calming himself, V recited poetry from his book. “To see a world in a grain of sand…”

“WHO KILLED CARMILLA?! TELL ME! TELL...poor souls...dwell in night...does…” Softly, the harsh demands transformed into V’s poetic voice. You completely focused on V’s voice, hoping he wouldn’t stop. The man in front of you morphed into V. Tears cascaded your face as you tightened your closed eyes. You begged V to stay with you. You wanted nothing more than for this madness to end. 

Gingerly, you opened your tear ridden eyes. You were back at the restaurant. For the most part, everything was back to normal. It was darker and people were failing to not steal glances at you and V. V was still standing next to you. He gently closed his book, then turned to you. Concern and worry were radiating off of him. V pulled you into a hug as soon as he saw your tears. You gripped V’s hand for dear life as he led you out of the restaurant.

As soon as V opened the door, Griffon flew around the house. You headed to your bedroom with Shadow behind. You collapsed on the bed, burying your head in your pillow. You released the anxiety and fear you have been holding. You screams and cries could be heard throughout your home. To help calm yourself you cuddled with Shadow, letting her fur catch your tears. Shadow’s purring was the perfect lullaby to fall asleep to, especially after today.

“...H-HE-LP!...HELP!...He-help...” Those pleas were all the encouragement you needed to continue to get through the door. Nothing was going to stop you this time. You mustered your strength then delivered one final strike against the door. The barrier dissipated, as it pushed you away one last time. The door became ajar. 

Regret consumed you as soon as you stepped through the door. A blinding flash brought you to an abandoned building. Someone similar looking to the man from the restaurant was interrogating someone who looked like you. The person being interrogated was severely beaten. It was obvious the man was doing whatever he pleased. No one was around to stop him. It wouldn’t be long until the person was dead. In an attempt to stop him, you jumped on his back. He threw you across his back. Somehow you merged with the one you were trying to save.

The man deeply slashed your abdomen. He was merciless. It felt as if he was never going to stop until he got what he wanted. Not once did his sinister smile disappear. If anything, it grew with each of your screams, your pleas. You screamed for help but no one came.

The strike to your head was excruciating. You gripped your head, screaming, as your mind released every single memory that was sealed away. Meeting V at the grocery store. Tracking Carmilla. Working with V. Your fight with Carmilla. Your captivity. All of them. It was too much for your mind to process at once.

V raced to your bedroom as soon as he heard you scream. Quickly, he studied the room and determined nothing was amiss. V attempted to loosen the ironclad grip you had on your head. V winced from pain when you grabbed his hands. It was possible you may have sprained his finger or two. V didn’t care. He stayed with you, reminding you how strong you are and how you can get through this.

Once you were calm V asked if you were hurt. Hysterically, you described your nightmare. The torture, the pain. The rush of other dreams within it. It felt so real to you. As if it happened to you as you dreamt it. V tried to explain that even though you were attacked in your dream it doesn’t mean the attacks actually happened. You were having none of it. You described every attack explicitly while tracing each one on your body.

V tried his best to calm you. Nothing he did relieved you. Not one bit. Your mind was frantically processing the memories it released. You couldn’t think straight. V tried to hug you but you pushed him away. His hurt expression made you feel worse, but you had no choice. You needed to stay away from him. You weren’t sure if the one in front of you was V or a Soul Snatcher; friend or enemy.

“Who the fuck are you?” Shakily, you cocked your gun, indicating you weren’t playing around. Shadow immediately placed herself between you and V. Griffon babbled about you not recognizing V or them. You didn’t care. You just needed to know what was going on.

“(Y/N) put the gun down and I’ll answer all of your questions.” Your defensive aggressiveness from before your memories were sealed has returned. There was no way V could weasel his way to convince you nothing was going on. To V this situation felt like he was reliving his very first encounter with you.

Your eyes narrowed with suspicion. Would he attack once you lower your gun? Will he actually tell the truth? What if this was a Soul Snatcher? Too many questions raced through your mind. You had no idea what part of yourself to listen to. Fuck it. You needed answers. “Lie or attack, I’ll make you regret it.”

For your sake V had to prove he wasn’t a Soul Snatcher. He recalled when he gave you the ring you were wearing. Hearing your argument made V realize it was pointless to retell the time you spent together. He was determined to prove he wasn’t a Soul Snatcher. No matter what. The only thing he could think of that a Soul Snatcher couldn’t do was summon Nightmare. Doing so caused quite a scare for your neighbors.

Your neighbors panic soon turned into silence. Irritated tension was all either of you could feel. Both of you wanted to say something. Neither of you knew what to say or where to start. So you both stayed quiet, trying to figure out what to say. The silence was unbearable for Griffon but he managed to stay quiet. God knows what either of you would do if Griffon said anything.

You took one deep breath, then decided to tell V everything about your time in captivity. The torture, the Soul Snatchers involved, your thoughts. Everything. You turned yourself away from V when you started crying. V attempted to reach over to comfort you but you indicated for him to stay where he was. You didn’t want to be touched by anyone. 

V wanted to hold you. He wanted to do anything and everything he could to remind you you’re safe with him. But he fought himself from doing anything that would make you uncomfortable. He knew you would fulfill your promise if he did anything you saw as a threat.

If V had to be honest, he didn’t want to explain what happened when he found you. Besides the fact he was like you; not wanting to show weakness or vulnerability. He isn’t proud of how he reacted. That night was a tornado to him. It was fast and destructive yet it was a blur. Still. It was no excuse to not tell you. You told him everything. Now it was his turn. V sucked it up and reluctantly told you what happened.

You listened to V, unsure how to take it. At first, you were terrified to hear you almost died. (You remembered you made the choice but it was frightening to think about.) Soon fright turned into anger. You blamed V for having your memories sealed. Not long after, you questioned if being with V was the right thing for you. You even questioned if you would be with V after everything that happened. 

V sat across from you, waiting for you to say anything. He was aware you were angry. He knew you would need time to process everything. It could take a long time, but V was more than willing to do whatever he could to help you. Except for one thing.

“I-I...I don’t know how to take in all of this...I-I think I need to sp-spend some time away from y-you. To absorb everything I just remembered..a-and what we just talked about...I also have to think of what’s be-est for me.” V’s heart broke in two. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was at a loss for words. He was unable to argue with you.

“Don’t.” You froze. V’s hand was hovering above yours. Without touching you, he guided your hand to lower itself, then release the clothing you were holding. Was V going to convince you to stay with him? You couldn’t tell. You knew he was going to say something. He was close to you but stepped away. “You should stay here. I’ll leave.”

You couldn’t believe what you just heard. Why would he leave? You should be the one leaving. You whipped your head around to see if V was really leaving. He was. Already he grabbed his bag, then his book. It didn’t take long for him to gather the rest of what he needed. Once he was packed, he approached you. You anticipated him doing some gesture to say goodbye. Your heart broke when he did nothing except say his goodbye. With each step V took away from you, you felt more alone than ever before. When he was completely gone you believed you made the wrong choice.

**Author's Note:**

> First posted on deviant art (nolife343) (chapters 1 and 2) and tumblr (blackrose343)
> 
> Do not repost!


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